Words of wisdom from my former rabbi, friend and colleague...

The following is last week's d'var Torah by Rabbi Pinchas Allouche, Spiritual Leader of Beth Tefillah, Scottsdale, Arizona. For as long as I have known Rabbi Allouche and his family (pictured below) they exude a passion and belief in life that has no limits.  Rabbi Allouche profoundly believes that there is no end to the goodness and light that each of us can project in everything that we do.  His simple explanation for the oft comparison between Purim and Halloween is one of which we should all be reminded at this time of year.  

Also, for those living in the Scottsdale area, or those who might find themselves vacationing there and needing a place to call "home" during your visit, you should definitely make Beth Tefillah a Shabbat stop and allow your neshamah to enjoy its vacation too.

Dear Friends,

He was nicknamed "the outsider," "the different." The norm was his personal enemy. He resented the mainstream leaders of society, as he hoped to create a change of direction for people and a new destiny for the world.

His name? Abraham the Hebrew, literally meaning: Abraham, from the other side. He was so called, for as the Talmud teaches, "the entire world was on one side, and he, Abraham was on the other side." Indeed, a true revolutionary who changed the landscape of our globe and its history, through the noble notion of monotheism.

It is Abraham's approach in this week's Torah portion that has inspired us, the Hebrew nation, to challenge our environment, its habits and its cultures, and to always thirst for true purpose and meaning. And it is this approach that has led me to question the "Halloween" festivities that have already begun to flood the streets of this country. After all, as a dear friend mentioned to me, it is just like the Jewish festival of Purim!

But is it really like Purim? True, in both festivals, we dress-up, candy is distributed, and laughter is spread. But at a deeper glance, they appear as complete opposites.

First, Purim falls in March, not in October. Second, Purim is celebrated with costumes of saints and sages, not of mischievous spirits and demons. Third, on Purim we offer and give flavorsome foods to one another. We don't demand and take it. Fourth, on Purim, joy and vivacity is spread. Not fear and death horrors. And last but not least, the heroes of Purim, Mordechai & Esther, are human beings like us. Not like phanthoms. They are a reflection of our infinite potential and our inner self, not of extraterrestrial ghosts disconnected from the profound dignity of the human being.

Of course, Halloween is not a bad holiday. If it is your custom to celebrate it, so be it, and enjoy it. In addition, we must also be cordial, polite and respectful toward our neighbors and our friends who celebrate Halloween. But this year, be the giver (of candies), not the receiver. Be the one with the divine smile, not the one with the demonic grimace.

And remember that a dark light glimmering within a menacing pumpkin does not stand a chance, in the test of space and time, in the shadow of G-d's pure and revealed light beaming through you!

Lekh Lekha...

So after almost four months on hiatus I'm finally back and able to dedicate the time necessary to sharing once again a few words of Torah, education, and life.

There is a Yiddish phrase, "Mench tracht and G-t lacht"..."people plan and G-d laughs".  Well, I have certainly planned plenty in my lifetime, so my guess is that I am keeping G-d laughing and hopefully smiling at the same time.  It's nice to know that although I never thought of myself as a "funny" person, I now have the opportunity to imagine G-d laughing probably keeled over in pain (or maybe even ROTFLOL) at my many attempts to "plan."

But then again, what if what I think might be planning is actually me "listening" to G-d and following that inner voice that guides my moral and ethical compass?

In this week's Torah potion G-d tells Abram (later renamed "Abraham"), "Go forth from your homeland, from the place where you were born, from your father's house, unto the land that I will show you."  What if we are all at some point given this same directive from G-d?  Maybe for us it is not so direct and transcendent, but what if every one of us has our "lekh lekha" moment?

I have had the pleasure and opportunity to have lived in a number of different communities in my life, in fact some of these communities have spanned different continents representing a number of different countries.  It is this nomad'ishness that people often find disconcerting and worrisome; however, for me I often see it as a blessing, certainly an opportunity, and maybe even based on this week's parshah my "lekh lekha" moment?

Have a wonderful week and I'm glad to be back!

Sharing news the Jewish way...

This posting also appears on the Davar Acher blogsite; a place for the Jim Joseph Foundation Fellows and other guest bloggers to share their ideas, thoughts, and messages toward advancing Jewish Education worldwide.

The "Sandwich Method" for sharing critical/potentially negative news is a simple concept of starting with the first layer of "bread".  Here one provides an initial positive remark, compliment, or other warm and fuzzy so as to set the stage and begin building the sandwich by showing that "feeding someone" is as much about the care being taken in the information's delivery as it is about the information itself.


The "meat" of the sandwich can then be shared.  This is often the negative feedback, constructive criticism, and/or critical information that often leaves the recipient a little taken aback by the impact of the information.  And then, finally, one closes the sandwich with a positive comment about the future, how the information may help someone grow, or general optimistic statement.


So why do I share this methodology on a Jewish education blog?  Well, besides the fact that we are most certainly a gastronomic faith, I actually believe that this sandwich method is a very Jewish and ancient method for sharing difficult news and can be observed in the events of this week's Torah portion.


It is this week, in Parashat Shelach (Numbers 13:1-15:41), where Moses sends out a group of representatives of all the Tribes to scout the land of Canaan.  What we know is that this group returns from their travels and they share terrifying information about the "giants" who live there.  These stories in turn cause panic and hysteria amongst the Children of Israel and ultimately brings about a punishment for this generation of never being able to enter the land.


Similarly, the consequences for the scouts is death... for all that is but Joshua and Caleb.  Why not these two?  Common understanding tells us that these two scouts did not share the negatives and fear-inducing stories of what they saw.  Rather, these two were optimists and wanted to only focus on the good.


My conjecture, however, is that these two were saved for the way they shared the information. Not because of what they actually said (or did not say).


In Numbers 13:27 we read that the scouts (the collective group) describe the land as "flowing with milk and honey" (laying the first piece of "bread") they then share the "meat" of what they saw which is a land with numerous enemies, "huge and fortified" cities, and even descendants of the giants (13:28).  Nobody suggests that they are embellishing their story, or worse outright lying!


No, what happens here is that for the majority of the scouts their report of what they saw ends on this note of fear and anxiety.  In fact, this scary focal point becomes the focus of what they go on to share with the other Hebrews in the encampment.  Not Caleb and Joshua however.  Their report continues and ends with the closing slice of bread.  For Caleb and Joshua there is still optimism and potential fulfillment of their destiny as we read in 13:30 where Caleb says, "We should go up at once, and possess it; for we are well able to overcome it."  So even with the fearful news of what they saw; even with this incredibly scary report, the fact is that what Caleb and Joshua know about what they could do still outweighed what they saw on their trail. They didn't want/try to leave anyone paralyzed by the news.


When it comes to sharing information, and as educators we share, recommend, advise, counsel, and talk to people all day long; it is wise for us to always keep the sandwich method in mind.  Remember, how one says something is just as important as what one says!

Controlling vengeance...

Dipping the finger in the wine during the retelling of the 10 plagues in Egypt.

It was about 20 years ago when I was first confronted with what I perceived to be the “disconnect” during the Passover Seder.  For me the moment of greatest challenge was between celebrating the retelling of our People’s master story (from slavery in Egypt to freedom in our promised land) against the perceived “reveling” in the pain and suffering of those who caused our ancestors unspeakable acts of hatred and anti-Semitism.

In Traditional Haggadot it is still customary to read the passage "Pour out Thy wrath upon the nations that know Thee not, and upon the kingdoms that call not upon Thy name.  Pour out Thine indignation upon them, and let the fierceness of Thine anger overtake them.  Thou wilt pursue them in anger, and destroy them from under the heavens of Hashem." 

The paragraph itself is actually a compilation of three Biblical verses (Psalm 79:6-7, Psalm 69:25 and Lamentations 3:66) which were assembled and added to the Haggadah during the Middle Ages.  The history behind these Haggadic additions is that the above passage was a conscious response by the Jewish community to the mass Jewish executions during the Crusades, and to the persecution of Jews throughout the ages.  These verses acted as the community’s collective voice condemning those evil actions and calling upon G-d to stand up and hold our persecutors accountable.

Today, however, especially living in the United States where many of us are insulated from the hatred and anti-Semitic acts that plague many of our brethren in nations across the globe, the notion of vengeance and hatred toward our non-Jewish neighbors is profoundly rejected.

As Jewish parents wanting to raise our children with universal values of respect, forgiveness, integrity, and coexistence, we need to ask ourselves, how do we teach our children to be satisfied when justice is served while at the same time ensuring that this satisfaction does not become joy and happiness at the suffering of another?

Passover is the perfect time to introduce these ideas.  The Passover Seder is a time of reflection, storytelling, and discussion, where simple acts can teach lessons for a lifetime. 

For instance, when it comes time to traditionally dip your finger in the cup of wine during the reading of the 10 plagues, suggest to your guests (or if you are a guest, suggest to your host and friends) that at the conclusion of the last plague do NOT suck/lick the wine off of their wet finger; rather, suggest that they wipe it dry with a napkin. 

The explanation for this strange avoidance (why not suck the wine off of the finger???) is that the wine that one has just used to enact this part of the Seder, has been incorporated specifically to visually demonstrate the plagues destruction over the Egyptians.  The reason for holding back one’s instinctual urge to lick the wine off of the finger is exactly the urge which we often have in finding joy in our enemies’ demise.

When we suffer, we want our enemies to suffer.  When we no longer suffer, we should look beyond the vengeance, as instinctive as it may be, and look for the path of restraint and take the proverbial “higher” road.

However, in reality, there will still be multiple guests sitting around the table who forget your instructions and proceed to suck the remaining wine off of their finger.  At this point the stage has been set for a wonderful teachable moment.  Ask the group why it is so difficult to withhold our instinctive desires?  Is it possible that they have already forgotten the instructions of only a few minutes earlier?  Maybe; but the real opportunity is in the ensuing discussion.

I wish you all a happy, healthy, and zissen Pesach!

Mazal Tov!!!

2010 Middle School Science Fair Winners

So after all the skepticism, adult cynicism, and jaded pessimism of "product marketability" last night three elementary school students and six middle school students (pictured above) were rewarded with their well-deserved recognition and respective prizes.

But wait, there's more... just before the event formally began last night I was part of a meeting where at its conclusion I invited the attendees to come and visit the Invention Convention and Science Fair (most of the group were parents already planning to go on to the event but some were school leaders without participating children - so why not invite them to see these incredible creations).  One particular parent of two students in the Invention Convention openly joked about his children's inventions and how ridiculous they were.  Then another parent chimed in to not only agree but share the impracticality of his child's invention.

Again, I shared with these parents that this process is about our need to encourage creativity and innovation.  Even if the items aren't necessarily marketable and/or have serious logistical flaws the fact is that this process encourages children to identify a problem and consequently find a solution to the problem (i.e. become inventive).  

The beauty of the evening, beyond seeing the room full of hundreds of parents, relatives, guests, and friends asking the student inventors and scientists about their creations and hypotheses, was the fact that the initiating skeptic and loudest critic from the earlier meeting had to not only eat his words upon arriving at the event, but that he will now have to remember his cynicism every time he looks at his youngest child because she actually won one of the innovation prizes for creativity and inventiveness!

Yes, my friends, I could not have made up a better example of how often we potentially stifle our children's idealism and passion for naturally trying to solve the problem's and challenges around us.  Maybe we would be better served to let these young and "unjaded" minds take a serious stab at some of our global issues...who knows, maybe we would actually create a system to reduce global warming, possibly bring about world peace, and even maybe eliminate the threat of a nuclear armageddon all together???