Shabbat Hagadol & Passover

Words of Torah
Parashat Tzav
Leviticus 6:1-8:36

“And he put upon him the tunic, and girded him with the girdle, and clothed him with the robe, and put the ephod upon him, and he girded him with the skillfully woven band of the ephod, and bound it unto him therewith.”  ~~ Leviticus 8:7

In this week’s parashah we read about the High Priest and not only the sacrifices that he performs on behalf of the people, but also of the sanctity with which he is clothed for the tasks and duties of his sacred role.

I share the following story as a modern day example of the support roles that are necessary for the sanctity of the job to take place…no matter what the job. In the above Moses was responsible for preparing and “dressing” Aaron in his fine linens. However, the following story is of a lesser-known hero who had a similar responsibility in preparing another’s “sacred” garments. 

Charles Plumb was a US Navy jet pilot in Vietnam. After 75 combat missions, his plane was destroyed by a surface-to-air missile. Plumb ejected and parachuted into enemy hands. He was captured and spent 6 years in a communist Vietnamese prison. He survived the ordeal and now lectures on lessons learned from that experience.

One day, when Plumb and his wife were sitting in a restaurant, a man at another table came up and said, "You're Plumb! You flew jet fighters in Vietnam from the aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk. You were shot down!"

"How in the world did you know that?" asked Plumb.

"I packed your parachute," the man replied. Plumb gasped in surprise and gratitude. The man pumped his hand and said, "I guess it worked!" Plumb assured him, "It sure did. If your chute hadn't worked, I wouldn't be here today."

Plumb couldn't sleep that night, thinking about that man. Plumb says, "I kept wondering what he had looked like in a Navy uniform: a white hat; a bib in the back; and bell-bottom trousers. I wonder how many times I might have seen him and not even said 'Good morning, how are you?' or anything because, you see, I was a fighter pilot and he was just a sailor." Plumb thought of the many hours the sailor had spent at a long wooden table in the bowels of the ship, carefully weaving the shrouds and folding the silks of each chute, holding in his hands each time the fate of someone he didn't know.

Now, Plumb asks his audience, "Who's packing your parachute?" Everyone has someone who provides what they need to make it through the day. He also points out that he needed many kinds of parachutes when his plane was shot down over enemy territory -- he needed his physical parachute, his mental parachute, his emotional parachute, and his spiritual parachute. He called on all these supports before reaching safety.

Sometimes in the daily challenges that life gives us, we miss what is really important. We may fail to say hello, please, or thank you, congratulate someone on something wonderful that has happened to them, give a compliment, or just do something nice for no reason. As we gather around the Seder table in the coming days, and whether it is this week, this month, or sometime this year, what differentiates us as “free” people is that we truly have the ability to recognize those people who pack our parachutes.

This weekend, I encourage you to take a few moments to discuss with your child(ren) how being a free person means not enslaving ourselves to our egos, pride, fears, and/or anxieties. Our actions, especially as we celebrate and retell our Passover story, should be driven by their righteous intent.

Wishing you a zissen (happy) Pesach. Shabbat shalom!

Parashat Ki Tisa - on the "Toxic Environment"

Parashat Ki Tisa

Exodus 30:11-34:35

There is nothing intrinsically bad in God's world:

every evil is a perverted good, every psychosis a healthy instinct gone awry.

~~ Based on the talks and writings of the Lubavitcher Rebbe

In this week’s parashah we read about when Moses doesn’t return as expected from the top of Mount Sinai, and the people left below consequently make a Golden Calf to worship. In response to this event, God proposes to destroy this sinful nation; however, Moses intercedes on the people’s behalf. Moses then descends from the mountain carrying the Tablets engraved with the Ten Commandments; and seeing the people dancing about their idol, he breaks the Tablets, melts down the Golden Calf and has the primary culprits put to death. Moses then returns to God to receive a second set of the Tablets.

Applying the lessons learned from this week’s text, the Lubavitcher Rebbe taught that the Israelites who participated in the Golden Calf incident where not evil, but simply people who were misguided and sought leadership and counsel from the wrong sources.

As parents we are very aware of the power of peer pressure, and how our children’s friends can influence our own child simply because of the way this friend was raised in his or her home.  On the one hand I am always proud of how our school, even with the occasional challenge that goes along with children growing up together and developing social skills, handles peer interactions; and yet on the other hand, as an educator reading the monthly journals, articles, and research materials, I am appalled, and quite frankly often gravely concerned, at what is going on in other schools.

“TOXIC ENVIRONMENT” has been a common phrase applied by researchers in response to the pressures and events going on in the public school world.   James Garbarino, Ph.D, Co-Director, Family Life Development Center and Professor, Human Development, Cornell University, wrote as early as 1998 “The concept of social toxicity explains a great deal of what troubles us about children growing up in … the 21st Century. At stake is the essence of childhood as a protected time and place in the human life cycle.”  Just when exactly did we decide that we wanted our 8, 10, or even 12 year-old children to be adults?  When did we decide that being a child was a waste of time and that we wanted to parent young adults?

As I read the Rebbe’s commentary on this week’s parashah, I feel so fortunate to be among parents who recognize their stake in their child’s development.  Along these lines, the questions for this week’s Shabbat table may need to wait until your child goes to sleep, but at some point you will need to address them … On what values do you want your child to build his or her identity? Who are the peers and role models that you want your child to have for 8 hours a day, 180 days a year?  And, would you rather your child have the experience of being a big fish in a small pond or a small fish in a vast ocean?

Shabbat shalom!

                                                                                                                                                  

Parashat Tetzaveh: The power of words

Parashat Tetzaveh

Exodus 28:20-30:10

Every so often while I am researching and studying the weekly parshah, so that I can glean a morsel of our rabbis’ teachings and use it to help develop this weekly column, I come across a rabbinic interpretation that needs to be shared in its entirety.  Such is this week’s Words of Torah written by Lord Jonathan Sacks, Chief Rabbi of Great Britain.

THE SEDRAH OF TETZAVEH, as commentators have noted, has one unusual feature: it is the only sedrah from the beginning of Shemot (Book of Exodus) to the end of Devarim (Book of Deuteronomy) that does not contain the name of Moses. Several interpretations have been offered:

The Vilna Gaon suggests that it is related to the fact that in most years it is read during the week in which the seventh of Adar falls: the day of Moses' death. During this week we sense the loss of the greatest leader in Jewish history - and his absence from Tetzaveh expresses that loss.

The Baal haTurim relates it to Moses' plea, in next week's sedrah, for G-d to forgive Israel. "If not," says Moses, "blot me out of the book you have written" (32: 32). There is a principle that "The curse of a sage comes true, even if it was conditional [and the condition has not been satisfied]" (Makkot 11a). Thus, for one week his name was "blotted out" from the Torah.

The Paneach Raza relates it to another principle: "There is no anger that does not leave an impression".  When Moses, for the last time, declined G-d's invitation to lead the Jewish people out of Egypt, saying, "Please send someone else", G-d "became angry with Moses" (Ex. 4: 13-14) and told him that his brother Aaron would accompany him. For that reason Moses forfeited the role he might otherwise have had, of becoming the first of Israel's priests, a role that went instead to Aaron. That is why he is missing from the sedrah of Tetzaveh, which is dedicated to the role of the Cohen.

All three explanations focus on an absence. However, perhaps the simplest explanation is that Tetzaveh is dedicated to a presence, one that had a decisive influence on Judaism and Jewish history.

The key is to now take Dr. Sacks teaching and to use it to help our children understand that there are times when things do not need to be overtly stated, or even referenced, or mentioned.  As parents we often “read” our children’s body language without them ever needing to say a word.  We know when they are happy, sad, confused, or even hiding something.  This lesson in social queues is often a difficult one for children to grasp, and this is often the one that gets them into difficult situations with their peers.  

So this week, take this opportunity to role-play, discuss, or even pick apart a TV show or two, and help your child read beyond the surface.  For although Moses is not mentioned in this week’s parashah directly, we all know that what you see is not always what you get.

Shabbat shalom

Parshat Terumah: Donating with love

Parashah Terumah
Exodus 25:1-27:19

“…you shall accept gifts for Me from every person whose heart so moves him.” Exodus 25:2

This week’s Torah portion opens with the above message in which God asks Moses to accept the Israelites’ donations toward the building of the Tabernacle. What a strange and random request at this stage of the Israelites Exodus. Moses finds himself in the peculiar circumstance of needing to ask a nation of recently freed slaves to donate the only material possessions they own while they wander in the dessert???

Even more bizarre is that the Israelites are in fact even in possession of such items as precious metals - gold, silver, and copper; textiles - linen, red wool, blue wool, and purple wool; animal skins like goat fleece and ram skins; and Cedar wood, olive oil, and precious stones; all of which not too long ago belonged to the Egyptians. (The Israelites gathered these items from the Egyptians as they were leaving Egypt during the Exodus.)

What we do know is that although this “fundraiser” came at a precarious time, and asked for 100% participation, “from every person whose heart so moves” them. What the people came to understand, however, was that the act of giving was what demonstrated their freedom. It was the giving that they could not do as slaves, and it was the inability to give that denied them the opportunity to receive through their gifts. All of a sudden they could now give, and they could give lots, and they could give freely, and they could give to the worthiest of causes.

Philanthropy and tzedakah are not the same according to our Jewish tradition, although many of us use those words as translations for one another. “Philanthropy” is considered to be an optional act of goodwill and humanitarianism. “Tzedakah” on the other hand, is considered a personal obligation to take care and provide for those who are less fortunate.

Some sages consider this “request” by God to be their first test as a free nation. Were they still slaves who were unable to act on their own accord? Or, were they now truly a free nation able to give of themselves and their belongings for a greater cause. For lack of any biblical terms…this was the first Capital Campaign for this freed nation! This was God asking for philanthropic donations to cover the building costs. Who was going to step up to the plate?

This weekend, ask your child what it means to help others. Do you need to be asked to do it, or do you do it freely? Tzedakah comes in many shapes and sizes, and any child of any age can find their way to fulfill this essential mitzvah. Research clearly shows that the child who understands the obligation of “charity” is one who is more empathic and likely to relate better to others in adulthood. Empathy comes from putting yourself in another’s proverbial “shoes”. Tzedakah comes from knowing that it is incumbent upon us to help those who are in need.

Shabbat shalom!

Same song different day...

"Song of the Sea" (AKA "Miriam's Song") 

text seen as scribed in actual Torah

Parashah Beshalach (Exodus 13:17 – 17:16)

“…the Israelites marched on dry ground in the midst of the sea.” Exodus 15:19

This week’s Shabbat is known as Shabbat Shira (The Sabbath of Song) because it contains the text from Miriam’s song, the verses from the Torah which describe the Hebrews leaving Egypt as they walked through the Sea of Reeds.

What is also unique to this week’s Torah portion is the way in which the text is inscribed on the parchment of the Torah. There are only a handful of times where the text of the Torah visually depicts a message or illustrates an idea by the way the sopher (scribe) writes the text. 

Usually the text is written in a justified column fashion that is uniform and identical from column to column. In this week’s Torah portion however, we see a layering of the text that depicts three staggered columns almost intertwining with one another. The visual is quite powerful if you are able to “see” the intended representation of the two walls of water surrounding the Hebrews as they walked through the Sea (see above photo).

It is hard for me to imagine this awesome scene without reverting to flashbacks of Charlton Heston in Cecile B. DeMille’s movie, “The Ten Commandments.” On the other hand, our children will have flashbacks from DreamWorks’ depiction of the Exodus in the movie, “The Prince of Egypt.”

The reason I share this seemingly obvious fact is that our children’s memories will be no less meaningful, powerful, or even memorable, than ours. Yes, they will be different, but they live in a different world, at a different time, with different experiences, expectations, and available resources. So too is their education.

I often meet with parents who share with me their memories of how they learned a certain concept, idea, or fact. They are not wrong being confused as to why their child might be learning it differently; but they are often wrong thinking that differently means “less than” the way they learned it.

Today, our children see the world so differently than we did. They are bombarded with millions more stimuli than we ever were. They have the accessibility to more information than they will ever be able to absorb. So the manner in which we teach them needs to be different, as the world in which they will be living their adult lives will be so very different than the one we are living in today.

This weekend, my questions are for you, rather than for your children. This weekend, think of the knowledge that helps make you successful at what you do. Is it the ability to remember the facts and figures, methods and concepts, ideas and formulas; or is it your self-confidence, your social skills, your drives, pursuits, and motivations to always do better?

One should never be at the expense of the other, but one should never have to exist without the other either.

Have a wonderful weekend. Shabbat shalom.

Grading on the curve...

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Parashah Bo (Exodus 10:1 – 13:16)

“In the middle of the night God struck down all the first-born in the land of Egypt, from the first-born of Pharaoh who sat on the throne to the first-born of the captive who was in the dungeon, and all the first-born of the cattle.” Exodus 12:29

Rabbi Judah Loew, The Maharal of Prague (1525-1609) explains that the Jewish People, who had remained distinct in Egypt, were spared from the fury of the first nine plagues on a relative scale. The Jew who had retained even a part of his heritage stood out amongst the decrepit culture around him. Therefore the Jewish People dodged the waves of misfortune that fell upon Egypt.

The 10th plague, however, was different. This one was to be delivered by God and no other delegate. To survive it wasn't enough to be a little better than the low society about them. It became necessary not just to abandon everything Egyptian but to also adopt everything of God. The crucial test was to determine a willingness to approach the light of The Infinite and to bear forever the standard of The Absolute.

Rabbi Label Lam, in his d’var Torah of this week’s Torah portion, shared a story of when he arrived at his college campus so many decades ago, how, for some non-mystical reason; about 80% of the entering freshman class had their sights on medical school. He was not part of that pack but it seemed everyone around him was. Obviously not all were going to make it so they had these impossibly hard and competitive pre-med bio-chem classes to weed out the weak willed and under-qualified. People stayed up nights at a time and one by one, dreams were dashed as grades were posted.

Everyone, Rabbi Lam shared, was graded "on a curve". If everyone did poorly then even a low grade could still earn an "A". Nobody despaired when tests were handed back because as long as others had failed as miserably, they might still salvage a high mark. After a particularly tough test everyone looked madly to see where on the curve they fell. The great upset was when some genius of a fellow actually scored "99". Now everyone else's "40" automatically spelled failure and many a tense and teary phone call was made to disappointed parents.

You see, for Rabbi Lam, the curve on the science tests lowered the standard of performance just like the first 9 plagues.  Yes, some students passed, but was it because they were qualified, or was it because the others around them were simply worse off?  The 10th plague, however, had no curve.  The 10th plague was a test that had an identical passing grade for everyone.  You either believed and passed, or disbelieved and failed.

This weekend talk to your children about how they rate themselves.  Do they do it based on the people around them?  Are they right, successful, and/or good, when others are wrong, failures, and/or bad?  Or does your child understand that as long as they pursue righteousness, justice, and truth, it does not matter what others do, for they will always end up on top.

When the going gets tough...lead anyway!

Parashah Va’era (Exodus 6:2 - 9:35)

“But when Moses told this to the Israelites, they would not listen to Moses, their spirits crushed by cruel bondage.” Exodus 6:9 

What happens when a leader leads, but no one follows? Is the person still a leader?

In this week’s parasha we read of how God chose Moses to lead the Hebrews, and yet a) they were not in any shape to be led; and b) they were not the ones who chose Moses as their leader. Both of these challenges made an already difficult situation for Moses all the more challenging.

But the research on leadership parallels our rabbinic texts in that both fields of knowledge say that one is to do the right thing, even if the masses choose to do differently.

Being a leader is not about taking the easy road; rather, it is about pursuit of righteousness and justice. It is about leading toward a vision. It is in order to bring the masses to a better place.

Rabbi Michael Zedek, of Emanuel Congregation, Chicago, IL, wrote a wonderful piece on this week’s Torah portion to highlight these leadership principles quoting a sermon given by the famous American psychiatrist, Dr. Karl Menninger:

“Moses now knows his focus is to serve the people, to care about them, to nurture them, to love them. There may be hard moments ahead, but despair is overcome in service. Such is reminiscent of the wonderful statement by Dr. Karl Menninger. Implicit in Moses’ new vigor, it is explicit in Dr. Menninger’s words:

If people are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered [just like the Israelites], love them anyway. If you do, good people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives [they certainly didn’t think Moses was such a great guy], but do good anyway. If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies [remember Edward G. Robinson in the movie; always giving Moses a hard time], succeed anyway. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow [miracle after miracle and still they don’t leave him alone; they complain and complain]. Do good anyway. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway. People favor underdogs but seem to follow only top dogs. Fight for underdogs anyway. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight [what do you think Moses thought when he came down and saw the Golden Calf]. Build anyway. People really need help but may attack you if you help them [Moses certainly knew that]. Help them anyway. Give the world the best you have, and you may get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.”

It’s not easy to lead, and Moses found this out the very hard way. This weekend ask your child to name someone who they think is a leader. What is it about the person that makes them a leader? Do they think leading is easy? What skills and training do they think a leader should have? Did Moses have these skills? What experiences best prepared Moses for his role as our greatest leader? These are just the starter questions. From here let your child take the lead…

Have a wonderful weekend. Shabbat shalom.

Back to school humor...Happy 2013!